Can't you just?

M"Can't you just focus on the positives?" 

If it were that simple, done. 

Having a chemical brain imbalance sucks. It requires meds. It requires therapy. And it requires a support group of people that have been there and know how it is. It's not being able to get out of bed in the morning. It's staying up too late at night, because you don't want the day to end knowing you'll have to face another day. 

It's walking into church and feeling like EVERYONE is staring at you and judging you. Even though they're not. 

It's knowing that you have a million things that you need to get done, and feeling so overwhelmed that you just can't start any of them. 

Mental illness. Such a stigma. Everything thinks that "if you just did this....", you'd be fine. Is that what people with diabetes is told? "If you just ate less sugar....." 

The body doesn't work that way, unfortunately. With diabetes, seizures, mental stuff, Autism, etc. There is no, "Can't you just" when it comes to things we can't control. 

In my experience, even meds, therapy, and any other method I try doesn't completely work. I've been on a new med for about 4-5 weeks now. In the past couple weeks I've noticed that it's getting worse before it gets better. Dr said that might happen. Wasn't totally prepared for it though. Giving it time to kick in is all I can do. That and not replying when I get a text from GS. 

On a totally unrelated topic..........

TOMORROW.