Life

I need to post more often! 

I don’t even know what I want to write about. 🤔 

I had a fantastic Mother’s Day. Nick gave me a gift card to Target, and Jacob made me a coaster at school. I wish Emily would contact me. I miss her so much. 

Randy and I took Jacob to some thrift stores, and then he took Jacob to Cub and had him pick me out some flowers. They’re purple. I love them! Jacob was so excited to give them to me. 💙

After Jacob went home, Randy took me out to dinner. He’s the best. He treats me like a queen. Never calls me names, never makes me feel like I’m less than worthy, and always is there for me when I need him. I hit the jackpot. (So did he!)

Not sure what else to write. Not much happening lately. Work and Jacob. Some baseball games. 

Opening Day!!!

A blast every year!!!!!! I love this guy 💗🥰

It got pretty cold by the end, but worth it!

Twins opener!!

Twins won 10-2! So much fun. I love this guy. 💗

Bentleyville time again!

Our third year going to see the lights! I feel so loved when Randy takes me to Duluth, at any time of year. I especially love Bentleyville and the lights. 

Pizza is my love language.

I’m not one for mushy posts, but I have a fun story for you. 

9 months ago, I was talking to some guy. We texted, and sometimes actually talked on the phone! He seemed cool. Cool enough that I agreed to go out on an actual date with him. I mean, a girl’s gotta eat, right?? 

Now, I’m not saying that I watch too many Lifetime movies, but when I was told we were going to a place called “Wampach’s”, I was a little skeptical. “That sounds fake. Are you going to take me out to the woods and murder me??” He said no, but to be fair, ALL OF THE MURDERERS SAY THAT. I even told my coworkers that if I didn’t come in the next day, to call the police. One of them had the audacity to call me dramatic! Hmph. 

I googled Wampach’s and found that it was a legit place, so off I went. I do love me some breakfast foods! 

We had a great time, and even went to get a donut afterwards. Six days later, we went out to breakfast again, but this time we went north to Fat Nat’s. (If you’ve never been, rectify this. Stat.) 

That afternoon he called me and asked if I’d be interested in going on a cruise with him, his brothers, and their wives. He told me I’d have to put up with him for the next four months, but I’d get a cruise out of the deal. Not one to pass up a challenge, I agreed. Besides, nine days in the Caribbean with a bunch of people I’d never met before?? Sign me up!! 

We were scheduled to get back on March 1st, and we joked about how we’d need the 2nd to catch up on sleep, and then on the 3rd I’d dump him. 

Apparently the joke was on me because two weeks before the cruise, I packed up all of my Twins gear, and moved from “The Cities” to Farm Country. Population 187. As Jacob says, “Mom, South Haven has the lowest population in Minnesota.” Not quite, but it *is pretty far down on the list! 

We call ourselves the Worst Couple Ever, and all of our kids think we’re ridiculously cute (actually I think they’ve said ridiculous and cute, but whatever). His Corvette obsession rivals my Twins one, he handles my sass, and makes sure that I’m never hangry. 

Congrats on putting up with me for this long, Randy! I’m sure my parents pray for you daily. 😂

Love makes a house a home.

If you would have told me a year ago that I would be living in a town of about 370ish people, I’d have said you were on crack. 

I grew up in Bloomington. Population around 86,000. I thrive on the hustle and bustle of “The Big City” aka Minneapolis. Whenever I’d go to camp every summer, I couldn’t sleep the first night because it was so quiet. Silent. There was no traffic. No planes flying overhead. No tv noises. 

I love city life. Where I lived in Eden Prairie, it was a five minute drive to just about anything; Target, Cub Foods, Walmart, Caribou, Home Depot, McDonald’s, Applebee’s, a shopping mall, movie theater, etc. Want Papa John’s? Go online and order! I went to Target three times in one day because I was baking and didn’t have the right ingredients!! 

8 months ago, I was talking to this guy. “You live in Fairhaven?? Where the heck is THAT??!” (20 minutes south of St Cloud, fyi) “Wait. It takes how long to go to Target and back?!” I was appalled. 😂 

4 months later, I traded in my 5 minute Target runs for 25 minute ones, and now this hangs by our door. 💗💗💗

All the heart emojis.

I’m not the type to gush about a significant other on social media, because, let’s be honest; I haven’t had a SO worth gushing over until this point. All I’ve ever been with are manipulative narcissists. They’d say “I love you”, but then call me names, hit me, or cheat on me. 

Not this guy. He’s amazing. He loves me, accepts me, and drops everything when I need a shoulder to cry on. He calls me beautiful like it’s my name. 

Christmas emotions

I don’t know how the holidays are for you, but for me, they’re a roller coaster of emotions. I struggle with not being able to get my kids a lot of things, but also knowing that they don’t *need a lot. Some years I have Jacob on Christmas Eve, and some years on Christmas Day. (It alternates) 

I REALLY struggled this year. I don’t know why. On the outside, I’m smiling and laughing because I’m having a blast with my family, but on the inside, I’m falling apart. My heart is so broken with not being able to see or talk to Emmy. The smiles and laughter aren’t a facade, because I really do love hanging out with everyone, and playing with the kids. But pieces of me are missing, and it sucks. 

Depression and anxiety around the holidays are no joke. Just today, I’ve already experienced joy, sadness, nausea, insecurity, overwhelmed, happiness, depressed, anxious, heartbreak, love, jealousy, and exhaustion. 

I rarely sleep a full night. I think about once every 5 weeks or so, I get a decent night’s sleep. And by ‘decent’, I mean maybe 6-7 consecutive hours. I’m so tired. Every day is a mental battle. 

If you have a loved one in your life that struggles mentally, you may only know a tiny piece of it. 9 times out of 10, we don’t tell half of what we’re feeling. Who wants to be a burden?? And you can say “You’re not being a burden!” a million times, but we won’t believe it. Keep saying it though, because one of these days, we might start to believe it. We’ll ALWAYS say that we’re fine. Find a code word or phrase that you can say to each other if they’re having a rough day, need extra love, but can’t talk about it. Sometimes talking hurts too much. 

I did have a blast at my dad’s though. Cassie took a super long nap, and I held her for a lot of it. Juju wasn’t feeling well, so she was extra snuggly. We played the dice game and got gift cards. Ate a lot of good food. Laughed a lot. 

I realized after I took this that they’re sitting in age order.