Emily Rose Martin

I don’t even know where to begin. 

My world was shattered on Friday, March 7, when my 24 year old daughter passed away. We hadn’t spoken in almost nine years, but not for lack of trying on my end. I sent her cards and letters in the mail, and wrote a note to her that her best friend gave her at their high school graduation. 

I was notified by her dad on Wednesday, March 5th that Emily was in the hospital and very sick. I was shocked. I have a very healthy family, and the last thing I ever expected to hear was that she’d been in the hospital for almost a week. She’d been lethargic, not feeling well, etc. She was moved to the ICU overnight on Tuesday, and by the time I saw her Wednesday evening, was intubated, sedated, and had internal bleeding. While I was there, her kidneys stopped working, so she was hooked up to a 24hr dialysis machine. She just kept getting worse and worse, and by Friday morning, my family, her dad’s family, and her best friend since Kindergarten and her sister were there to say our final goodbyes. 

I’m trying to sort through so many emotions.

I’m mad. The chance for Emily and I to reconcile our relationship was stolen from me. I’ll never get that time back. She and my oldest weren’t in contact either. I’m mad that he’ll never get that chance either. 

Confused. Why? She was so young. Why wasn’t this caught earlier? Why wasn’t something done sooner?

Sad. My baby girl didn’t get to live the rest of her life. She didn’t get to experience marriage, having kids, going on vacations, and anything else that people love. Her brothers no longer have a sister. Jacob has to live life not completely understanding what happened to his big sister. 

Helpless. I watched Emily lie in a hospital bed, and there was nothing I could do for her. I’ve always been able to fix the owies. I couldn’t fix this one. 

Shock. How does this happen to someone so young?? 

Emily was so full of life. She loved Disney movies, Percy Jackson books, and having dance parties with her cousins. 

I never imagined I’d have to figure out how to live in a world where one of my kids doesn’t. 

Life

Life has been crazy busy lately! Finally getting back to 40 hours at work now that summer is over. Jacob and I were very busy going to parks, the mall, my mom’s, and Jerrod’s. I can’t believe how big my nieces and nephews are. Josh is going to be 17 next month, two days after Micaiah turns 1 😧

Went to a lot of Twins games! Spent my birthday weekend in Duluth with the best guy ever! 💗

More posts on those later! 

Life

I need to post more often! 

I don’t even know what I want to write about. 🤔 

I had a fantastic Mother’s Day. Nick gave me a gift card to Target, and Jacob made me a coaster at school. I wish Emily would contact me. I miss her so much. 

Randy and I took Jacob to some thrift stores, and then he took Jacob to Cub and had him pick me out some flowers. They’re purple. I love them! Jacob was so excited to give them to me. 💙

After Jacob went home, Randy took me out to dinner. He’s the best. He treats me like a queen. Never calls me names, never makes me feel like I’m less than worthy, and always is there for me when I need him. I hit the jackpot. (So did he!)

Not sure what else to write. Not much happening lately. Work and Jacob. Some baseball games. 

Vegas, Day 4

Sunday was probably the best day for both of us. We left for Los Angeles at 5:30am. Our goal was to go to Randy’s Donuts, Santa Monica pier and wade in the ocean, see the Hollywood sign, and then a DODGER GAME!!! We did all of those! Randy was so excited about the ocean. I absolutely love seeing him in his element, no matter what it is. 

*I was excited about checking off another stadium on the list. He and I are definitely going to be doing this more often! We had a blast! Walking around the ballpark taking everything in. By the way, LA, your stadium needs wider concourses. 🤷🏽‍♀️

What should have been a 4 hour drive back turned into a 6 hour one because of traffic and an accident. Yeesh. 

Vegas, Day 3

Saturday we spent the morning walking around, shopping, and then at noon we went to the MARVEL Avengers Station. That was AWESOME. Ironman’s suits, Cap’s motorcycle, and the Hulkbuster. I LOVE MARVEL

We spent the afternoon at the pool, and then Randy took me to Buca for a fantastic pasta dinner. 

Vegas, Day 2

Friday was the day we spent walking a million miles. Our hotel was right next to New York New York, so we started there, worked our way up the strip, and then took an Uber to Fremont Street. 

We went to the aquarium at Mandalay Bay, and I got to pet sting rays!!! Besides dolphins, those are my favorite aquatic animal. I love watching fish and sharks and jellyfish. 

We went to the Hershey’s store where I got a ginormous s’more that was DELICIOUS, the M&Ms store, Coke store, and Target (obviously!). Saw the Fountain of the Gods show at Caesar’s Palace, and had a few drinks along the way. Randy casually brought his Diet Dew into the Coke store. We found that hilarious 😆

At Fremont Street I saw people dressed up as a clown, Pennywise, and Michael Myers. I did NOT like that!! 😂 We got back to the hotel more exhausted than the night before! We walked over 11 miles that day. 🥵 

We had no idea that the NFL Draft was there over the weekend, so the streets were blocked off. It was cool standing in the middle and looking down the street.