June already.

Where did Spring go?? I can't believe it's June 1st already. Usually I'm dreading summer but at the same time excited for it. It meant not getting up at the crack of dawn. Not fighting with kids to get dressed at 7am and eat breakfast. It meant swimming all day. Park trips. Play dates, and staying up late. Now it means working. Seeing my kids whenever HE will let me. I'm trying not to think about how sad Jacob was when I dropped them off last night. How he's asking to sleep over with me. And how he "wants Grandma and Grandpa to leave". That one broke my heart.

I hope eventually the ex and his parents will begin to see how difficult this is for the kids. It's NOT best for them. I have to call to set up mediation. That'll be fun. Third time for us in about 5 yrs. Why does this have to drag on so long?? UGH.

Sometimes I really hate life. 

5 Question Friday

1. What were you scared of as a kid?

MICE. I still am. It's ridiculous how terrified I am!!


2. Do you sleep well in a hotel?

Not usually. Maybe if I have melatonin or something, but I don't even sleep well at home.


3. If you could meet any celebrity, dead or alive, who and why?

Justin Morneau. I'm a HUGE baseball fan, and love my MN Twins!! And, he's very easy on the eyes. NotGonnaLieAboutThat.


4. It's a hot summer day. Do you prefer to be pool side or at the beach?

Usually pool. I hates lakes. They're nasty. The kids keep busy with stuff to look at on the beach, but I'm more likely to swim in a pool.


5. What is your favorite summer dish?

Fruit. Any kind of fruit. Watermelon. Raspberries. Cantloupe. Honeydew. Strawberries. Blueberries.

You get the idea. Yum.

My boy.

I miss him. I miss all of them, obviously, but he doesn't understand what's going on. He asks to come home with me, to have a sleepover with me, and for me to come home with him. The only thing I say is, "Daddy says no." Which is true.

Anywho, I took him to the mall last week for lunch. His new thing now is chocolate shakes. I don't know where he had one, but he loves them.

After we ate, we walked around Nickelodeon Universe for awhile. He loves Blues Clues, so I figured he would want to go on the ride. Nope. "I don't want to ride. I just want to stand here and look at it." Okay.

Dropped him back off at school, (which he did NOT enjoy), and he gave me this:

Awwww.

Last Friday I took all of the kids to Toys R Us for awhile. I'd forgotten how much they beg for stuff. (I hate that I'm forgetting those things, btw.)

Uh, okay?

Inside storm?

I hope that itisn't long before I get my own place. Of course, having been evicted once already isn't going to help. I'll just keep on trucking.

5 Question Friday

1. What did you wear to prom? Include a picture if possible.

Oh the early 90s. What hotties we were. I wore a black and white dress, and black heels. (my choir heels!) I was a senior, and my date (Billy) was a sophomore. We ate lunch together everyday. Ha.

2. Would you rather be on the biggest loser or a food eating challenge?

Biggest Loser!!! I love Bob and Dolvett!!!



3. Done fave sonic drink? Refreshing summer drink? (Hey, Kristina...was that a typo, or some "done good" Southern thing?)
Water or lemonade



4. What was your first car, and what did you call it?

An black 87 Celebrity. I called it the Mo Titanic, because I felt tiny in it!!



5. What's one thing your child or spouse does that sends you over the edge?

Well, seeing as how I'm divorced, and my ex is an a_ _ , and my kids live with him right now, the kids do nothing to drive me crazy. I guess ex does, because he's lying about everything going on.

5 Question Friday

1. Groceries are high right now what is easiest way you have found to cut back?

Stop eating. (RIGHT.) Honestly I am trying to eat less, like less snacking. I use coupons too.

2. What are the top 3 things on your "bucket list"?

~Meet Michael Cuddyer, Justin Morneau, Joe Mauer, Danny Valencia.....okay any MN Twin. And yes, Cuddy is a Rockie now, but he's still my fave.

~Take my kids to DisneyWorld.

~Make it to every Major League Baseball stadium in the US. I've been to 20 so far, (mostly old ones) so I need to get moving!

3. Would you rather give up AC or heat?

AC. I HATE being cold. And I live in MN :-/ I rarely even run the AC in the summer anyway.

4. What's your favorite cocktail?

Sex on the Beach. It's fruity and yummy.

5. What was your first job & how old were you?

I started babysitting when I was 12/13, but started working at Target when I was 16. I loved that job. I met a lot of great people that I still talk to now.

It is what it is.

I know what you're thinking.

"Tina, why on earth are you spending time watching baseball, eating ice cream, and going to dog parks, when you should be focusing on getting your kids back? Don't you love them at ALL??"

Why? Because I need distractions.

I can barely even think about Jacob at this point. It hurts too much. I don't expect people to understand. I know he loves his dad. But he loves me more. When I think about the fact that he's sitting around being ignored by his grandparents day after day, I want to throw up.

My chest hurts.

I can't breathe.

I hyperventilate.

I get choked up and the tears start flowing.

Jacob doesn't understand what's going on. Nicholas and Emily do, but that doesn't make it any easier.

It's also somewhat of a waiting game when it comes to free legal aid in Hennepin County.

This too shall pass.

I know a lot of people don't know what to say when they see me at church. A simple, "I'm thinking of you guys" works. (or that you're praying, but only if you really are.) Sometimes all I need is a hug. And not just at church. I was able to spend time with friends this past weekend, and just sitting with them is comforting.

I'm very grateful that I get to spend time at my brother's house a lot. Scooter and Van offer many distractions, and they're just fun to be around.

I need to be patient.

I need to be strong.

I need to have faith.

It is what it is right now, and I just hope that eventually my kids won't ever doubt that I love them.

This wasn't my choice.

Silly nut. <3

Five Question Friday

1. Would you prefer having people over for dinner or going to their house?

Hmm. I'm more comfortable with my kids being at home (9yr old has Autism) but they are also more entertained when we go elsewhere. I stress a lot though, about what he may be getting into.



2. Favorite Bible verse and why?

I've 'adopted' Jeremiah 29:11 from my brother and sister in law. It was part of their wedding ceremony, and then when my nephew was born 10 weeks early, it was a source of strength for them. Lately I've had to keep reminding myself that God *is always there, and he does know what's in store.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

I discovered Proverbs 26:11 in high school and liked it immediately. For obvious reasons.

 "As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

I'm not very good at memorizing new ones though.


3. What was the first concert you ever attended, and the most recent one?

I love being a child of the 80s/90s. New Kids on the Block!!! Woot!!! I also went to see them in 2008 when they were here.

My favorite was Jonathan. And then Donnie. I still like Donnie. Ever seen Blue Bloods?? Whoah mama.

My most recent one was Big Time Rush at the MN State Fair last summer. Clearly, I'm all about the boy bands. I took my daughter, and we had an amazing time!!

And yes, I have a favorite. Logan. His dimples are absolutely dreamy.

(I also was able to take her to Taylor Swift last summer, and that one rocked too)

I've also seen Billy Joel, Paul McCartney, Garth Brooks, Reba, Brooks and Dunn, many other country bands, and a million christian bands...Newsboys, DC Talk, Audio Adrenaline...etc.


4. The year is 2025. What are you doing, and what have you done?

I'm 49. My kids will be 26, 24, and 22. (yikes!) I wouldn't mind being a grandma by then. I had #1 when I was 23, so it could happen. I'd like to be finished with school and working in the NICU by then.



5. What's your favorite Easter treat?

Three words: CADBURY. CREME. EGGS. The chocolate. The gooey center. The stickiness of it all. yum.